A thrilling rant about water

Sitting here listening to Disclosure (as I am contractually obliged to, considering my demographic), something crossed my mind:

Is there anything in this world worse than variants of plain, still water? I’d wager no.

Flavoured water, fizzy water, water with ‘hints’ of stuff…all utterly abysmal. No one who is remotely sane could possibly like them.

This obsession with ‘anything but water’ has got to stop. Still, flavourless water is good for you. On the other hand, flavoured water isn’t (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1358999/The-healthy-flavoured-water-sugar-doughnuts.html). After all, it is *the* original drink. It’s impossible to actively like or dislike it, which means it must be neutral; the ‘safe’ choice.

What is this pressing need for a flavoured variety of water? Elderflower, Drench Orange and Passionfruit, and Robinsons Squash are all vile. Do yourself a favour and buy the truly orgasmic alternative: fresh fruit juice. Nothing beats that.

Another thing water-related that really gets up in my grill is this obsession by all waiters to insist on ruining a perfectly good glass of water with slices of lemon. What is this custom? Who thought it’d be a good idea? Lemon and water simply do not go together. Neither do slices of orange and water. But, at least you could eat the orange if you really wanted to.

Furthermore, is there really a need for so many pieces of ice to be stuffed into one glass? I think it is widely accepted that most drinks are kept in a fridge/cooled environment and so they should already be at the optimum serving temperature. Plus, as everyone knows, having ice in the drink means you get less of the actual drink, and ice takes the fizz away.

On second thoughts, maybe ice is a good thing – it will turn vile sparkling water into exuberant still water.


P.S. I was in a bit of a bad mood, as you can probably tell.


One thought on “A thrilling rant about water

  1. Daniel. Mum sent me your blog, just love it particularly about the water, I agree with you as I only like plain still water at room temperature. I started to giggle and could not stop – difficult as am work and I was trying to be discreet.

    Keep the blog going it is great

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