“Take the phone – I just cannot talk to this idiot any longer.”
This is a phrase I screamed yesterday, and I’m sure is one you have also exclaimed at some point.
Many things irk me (as I’m sure you can tell, based on my previous blogs), but none more so than stupidity. Being totally, hideously clueless is just about acceptable if all you do is exclude yourself from society in order to preserve the happiness of others.
However, when this outrageous idiocy comes into direct contact with any human with even a slice of social know-how, there can only be one outcome: sheer anger.
How can a cab driver not know a local landmark? How can a food delivery man not know a popular student halls of residence? IT’S THEIR BLOODY JOB TO KNOW!!!
When on the phone to the latter form of ignoramus last night, he proceeded to tell me no less than five times that he was outside the “tall building”. Forgive me for getting confused when he said it is the height of an “average building”, as if expecting me to know what on earth this completely nonsensical observation meant.
“Enter my postcode in your Sat Nav.” This couldn’t possibly go wrong. “I don’t have one. It broke and I forgot to ask for a new one.” Obviously.
At one point I even thought of going outside and shouting in the faint hope this complete moron would hear me and be able to figure out his way to my flat. But I figured this complex geographical mapping technique would be above him.
That’s when I gave up. His stupidity had beaten me. I could take it no more. So I passed the phone to my friend and went for a lie down. Five minutes later our food arrived. Cold. I faced my idiotic tormentor for the first time. Yup, he even looked like an imbecile.
After confronting him about his sheer lack of any sort of brain, it turned out he was within a two minute walk of my flat the whole time. Idiot.