From undergraduate to Man Utd manager – why I should have been appointed as Sir Alex Ferguson’s successor.

David Moyes? David ‘overachiever-but-still-a-bit-average’ Moyes?! No thanks.

Yet, despite my various warnings via twitter and informal chats with friends against appointing Moyes, he is the man United have plumped for to attempt to replicate Fergie’s stunning success. I guess Malcolm Glazer obviously just doesn’t follow me.

David Moyes has been appointed ahead of arguably more suitable and qualified managers such as Jose Mourinho and Jurgen Klopp. The cynic would argue it is due to him being at the end of his Everton contract, and so no compensation being due, whereas a sum upwards of £10m would have had to be paid to Madrid to oust Jose form the Bernabeu.

However, Moyes does have various characteristics that make him ideal for the Old Trafford hotseat. He took a worse-than-average Everton side into the top four of the Premier League and transformed them from perennial underdogs to a slightly-above-average-and-actually-quite -decent-on-their-day team. He focusses on bringing through youth, a core principle at United, with Victor Anichebe, Ross Barkley, and of course, United’s own Wayne Rooney, cases in point. Perhaps most importantly for Sir Alex, he is Scottish – something that seemingly guarantees success at Old Trafford.

But, is having actual managerial experience and being above the age of 19 really the primary criteria that should be scrutinised when appointing a football manager?

I don’t think it can be argued that some of the key attributes any successful manager must have in abundance include:

  • a confident handling of the press
  • man management
  • talent/bargain spotting
  • tactical nous
  • an understanding of the game
  • a ruthless will to win

I’d argue that I possess all those qualities, amongst others.

A healthy relationship with the media is essential to ensuring a positive image is maintained. In the past I have been known to contribute tweets to the BBC Sports Live Blog, be interviewed in the street for promotional campaigns, appear as a mere dot in the background of TV news reports, and converse with people who know people who know actual journalists. All this undoubtedly stands me in good stead.

Man management and keeping all the players happy is integral to maintaining a healthy relationship with the squad. I have first-hand experience at this, for instance deciding which friend to hang out with on which day, or which three girls to play off one another at once.

I have a wonderful eye for talent. This is demonstrated when I correctly recognise which two of my friends would get on with one another, and introduce them. Being able to unearth the ‘new Ronaldo’ or ‘new Djemba-Djemba’ is an absolute must for any potential United manager. I am able to spot bubbling potential in a rough-diamond with no problem at all, something exemplified when I identify a girl in a dark club as being something of a beauty, and proceed to have this confirmed via Facebook the next morning.

An understanding of the intricacies behind a successful implementation of a false nine, midfield diamond, or correct deployment of the regista, trequartista and libero are primary factors behind any sequence of wins. I have been able to show off my enviable tactical nous countless times thanks to the Football Manager game. There is no luck involved in getting Brentford into the Premier League, leading Yeovil to a historic domestic treble, or winning the Champions League with Bristol Rovers. Each individual success is the result of hours of moving the little dots on the screen into the position that makes their green light shine brightest, a mastering of the laptop trackpad, and relentless pressing on the space bar.

A ruthless will to win is perhaps the greatest contributing factor behind Fergie’s remarkable prolonged success. Without unrelenting passion and an obsession to be the best, a manager will simply not succeed at the very top of the game. Thankfully, I have displayed these qualities over the years in a number of ways.

For instance, whenever I am playing FIFA and fall several goals behind, I respectfully leave the game with a somewhat surprising level of dignity, simply refusing to be beaten by my virtual competitor. As a kid playing Monopoly, I would often swipe the board clean of all houses and hotels in a rage of red mist when the dice would not roll in my favour. Finally, without wanting to seem boastful or arrogant, it is widely accepted that I am a master of rock, paper, scissors, recording countless victories over the years. I think we can all agree that all this equates to an unrivalled record of success.

So, there you have it – my argument as to why I should have been chosen as the next manager of Manchester United. While I might not have been the outstanding candidate or the bookies favourite, I think I have more than justified why I should have been given more of a look-in.

Oh well, United, it’s your loss. Good luck Mr Moyes – prove me wrong.

DW

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2 thoughts on “From undergraduate to Man Utd manager – why I should have been appointed as Sir Alex Ferguson’s successor.

  1. Hi Daniel I think you would make a great Manager of United. How wonderful for your family, especially when they play Tottenham free tickets all round!!!

    Keep the blog going, enjoy it.

    Am forwarding this to Jamie, my son-in-law, he thinks it is great.

    Lots of love Wendy

    ________________________________

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