The Alternative Ten Commandments

  1. Thou shalt not telephone another house, nor flush thy toilet chain (unless it’s a number 2), after 10.30pm.
  2. Thou shalt not ask a stranger if they are nearly done on the loo.
  3. Thou shalt only consume dropped food if it was on the floor for five seconds or fewer.
  4. Thou shalt avoid the use of a urinal directly next to another at all costs.
  5. Thou shalt stick to the ‘one per segment’ rule when using revolving doors.
  6. Thou shalt adore one, if not all, of Drake, Justin Bieber, One Direction and Beyonce.
  7. Thou shalt abide by the ‘follow back’ rule on Twitter, the ‘add everyone you meet’ rule on Facebook, and the ‘take pictures of everything’ rule on Instagram.
  8. Thou shalt be completely outraged by any hint of racism, yet proceed to still be a little bit racist thyself.
  9. Thou shalt enjoy a love-hate relationship with all reality television shows: hating them publically, whilst simultaneously secretly loving them.
  10. Thou shalt always be aware of the potentially catastrophic repercussions when deciding how many x’s to put at the end of a text.



2 thoughts on “The Alternative Ten Commandments

  1. I sincerely hope 6 & 7 are jokes, if I had to abide by these modern day morales then I condemn my soul to Satan and all his firey demons and pitch forks!

  2. You are now famous in the USA!!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s